Diarrhea.
THAT scared me. Needless to say, last week was...um...eventful. I had to have a colonoscopy, and since I'm nowhere near the age of 50 I was reading up on it. I came across an article that said, "You're going to be experiencing high-volume, high velocity diarrhea". I laughed so hard that I cried. I mean, how can you NOT laugh at that? Anyway, I was super dehydrated the day of the test because the stuff they make you drink upset my stomach so much that I vomitted - while I was sitting on the toilet - uncontrollably onto the bathroom rug in front of me. Thankfully my husband was a dear and cleaned it up for me - and didn't make fun of me about it either. I was mortified, but thankfully it was only a mixture of Propel flavored water and Miralax. My husband gleefly commented that my vomit smelled like berry juice. G-R-O-S-S.
I guess my husband felt bad about my medical ordeal, so he bought a massage package for me at a local spa. It has always been on my "To-Do" list - a Hot Stone Massage. It was magically delicious. The room was dimly lt and calming music was playing. First they massage your entire body once over, and then they massage it next while using warm stones. Once the stones they are using lose heat, they replace them with new warm ones. The stones are smooth, so they don't hurt and the weight and heat of them feel great. It was SO relaxing. My husband did a great job in that regard! Now I can check it off my "list". Although, I wouldn't mind doing it again in the future. I definitely have to recommend it if you haven't tried it before. A little expensive, but definitely worth at least a one time splurge for the experience.
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Monday, September 26, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
I was the Bride, BUT It was my Mom's Day
Within my family, Fall is a big time... we celebrate 3/4 of our birthdays within my immediate family, and the normal holidays.
Three days ago was my Mom's birthday, which I did not acknowledge for the first time in my life. She and I haven't been on pleasant speaking terms since my wedding in June of this year. I had conceeded to all of her demands for my wedding, in order to please her and impress her group of friends/family. However, there was one instance where I did NOT coneed to what SHE wanted to do. I wanted a seating arrangement, and she did not. I wanted to make the seating un-awkward and un-chaotic for our 300 guests. I wanted to assign them tables, and they could sit where they pleased. My mother, however, hated this idea. She felt it would offend her friends to tell them what table to sit at. Therefore, I asked my Mom to make a list of tables for her side of the guests, which she said she did. However, I found out on the day before my wedding that she had not made a seating chart. Therefore, I stayed up till 2 AM the night before my wedding to make a seating arrangement. THEN she sabatoged it again by not putting the seating arrangement cards out, so she could still have her way. Needless to say, the guests finding seats was chaos. My husbands family was offended, my husband was offended, and I was offended. My Mom however, didn't care. SHE had it the way SHE wanted it. I cried the day before my wedding, she made decorating the hall with friends/family awkward when it shoudl have been fun (she was very angry and telling everyone how ungrateful I was), and she acted like the whole wedding was about showing off herself.
The arguement isn't over the seating arrangement. It is over the fact that she deliberately did what she wanted behind my back and against my wishes. It was my wedding, and it should have been the way I wanted it. I let her have her way on so many of my wedding plans, but that was the one thing where I put my foot down. She made it very evident that she would much rather offend my husband's family, her future-son-in-law, and her daughter instead of her friends. It was all about HER. When it should have been all about my husband and I. She refuses to think she did anything wrong, she argues with me about it still, and she refuses to apologize. I am, for the first time in my life, refusing to let it go. Forgiving is hard enough, but it is even harder when someone won't apologize for being wrong.
I have no desire to send her a card for her birthday, so I didn't. I didn't call, and I didn't email. I have no desire to visit, and I don't even look forward to the holidays. I don't want to go if I have to be around her.
It's put a strain on everyone. My husband loves hanging out with my Dad, and I miss my Dad too. However, I won't go visit because I know I'll have to deal with her and her snottyness about the wedding issue. All of her comments to me since the wedding have been jabbing and mean, and I just ignore it. It isn't worth arguing with her about it, so I ignore her completely.
My Dad's birthday is next week. I'll definitely send him a card, which will make it more apparent that I avoided my Mom's birthday completely. My birthday is a few weeks after that, and I imagine she will ignore me that day. Part of me is sad about it, but part of me wouldn't want her to ruin my birthday too by her rude behavior and comments.
This is all the things that aren't making Fall so fun, and I'm not looking forward to it.
Three days ago was my Mom's birthday, which I did not acknowledge for the first time in my life. She and I haven't been on pleasant speaking terms since my wedding in June of this year. I had conceeded to all of her demands for my wedding, in order to please her and impress her group of friends/family. However, there was one instance where I did NOT coneed to what SHE wanted to do. I wanted a seating arrangement, and she did not. I wanted to make the seating un-awkward and un-chaotic for our 300 guests. I wanted to assign them tables, and they could sit where they pleased. My mother, however, hated this idea. She felt it would offend her friends to tell them what table to sit at. Therefore, I asked my Mom to make a list of tables for her side of the guests, which she said she did. However, I found out on the day before my wedding that she had not made a seating chart. Therefore, I stayed up till 2 AM the night before my wedding to make a seating arrangement. THEN she sabatoged it again by not putting the seating arrangement cards out, so she could still have her way. Needless to say, the guests finding seats was chaos. My husbands family was offended, my husband was offended, and I was offended. My Mom however, didn't care. SHE had it the way SHE wanted it. I cried the day before my wedding, she made decorating the hall with friends/family awkward when it shoudl have been fun (she was very angry and telling everyone how ungrateful I was), and she acted like the whole wedding was about showing off herself.
The arguement isn't over the seating arrangement. It is over the fact that she deliberately did what she wanted behind my back and against my wishes. It was my wedding, and it should have been the way I wanted it. I let her have her way on so many of my wedding plans, but that was the one thing where I put my foot down. She made it very evident that she would much rather offend my husband's family, her future-son-in-law, and her daughter instead of her friends. It was all about HER. When it should have been all about my husband and I. She refuses to think she did anything wrong, she argues with me about it still, and she refuses to apologize. I am, for the first time in my life, refusing to let it go. Forgiving is hard enough, but it is even harder when someone won't apologize for being wrong.
I have no desire to send her a card for her birthday, so I didn't. I didn't call, and I didn't email. I have no desire to visit, and I don't even look forward to the holidays. I don't want to go if I have to be around her.
It's put a strain on everyone. My husband loves hanging out with my Dad, and I miss my Dad too. However, I won't go visit because I know I'll have to deal with her and her snottyness about the wedding issue. All of her comments to me since the wedding have been jabbing and mean, and I just ignore it. It isn't worth arguing with her about it, so I ignore her completely.
My Dad's birthday is next week. I'll definitely send him a card, which will make it more apparent that I avoided my Mom's birthday completely. My birthday is a few weeks after that, and I imagine she will ignore me that day. Part of me is sad about it, but part of me wouldn't want her to ruin my birthday too by her rude behavior and comments.
This is all the things that aren't making Fall so fun, and I'm not looking forward to it.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Changing and Evolving
Something about the changing of summer into fall always seems to spark a creative flair in me. Perhaps its because I was born in Autumn, or maybe I feel like something in me changes as the season changes. I always seem to find it refreshing to start to feel a chill in the wind, and a faint hint of color beginning to kiss the leaves on the trees.
Fall always seems to bring back good memories...cozy memories. Crispy, crunchy, colorful leaves underfoot... warm, fuzzy hoodies holding in your heat on a cool night watching a football game... Slipping your cold hands into someone else's warm ones... sipping hot chocolate... sitting in front of a bond fire with friends... curling up with a new book under a blanket on the couch...
I always get antsy to try my hand at something new or creatively inclined... music, a book, writing, painting, drawing, sewing, creating. I don't know why fall always seems to do this to me, but it does. Perhaps that is why I figured I'd start blogging again. I've been writing off-n-on ever since I was 15, which has been a little over a decade ago. Usually something makes me take a hiatus, for a few months or so, and then I'm back at it again. I feel like this is my first "adult" blog, or "adult-like" blog. I can't even begin to imagine what it will be full of, but I imagine it will be a little bit like the autumn... changing and evolving. We'll see!
Fall always seems to bring back good memories...cozy memories. Crispy, crunchy, colorful leaves underfoot... warm, fuzzy hoodies holding in your heat on a cool night watching a football game... Slipping your cold hands into someone else's warm ones... sipping hot chocolate... sitting in front of a bond fire with friends... curling up with a new book under a blanket on the couch...
I always get antsy to try my hand at something new or creatively inclined... music, a book, writing, painting, drawing, sewing, creating. I don't know why fall always seems to do this to me, but it does. Perhaps that is why I figured I'd start blogging again. I've been writing off-n-on ever since I was 15, which has been a little over a decade ago. Usually something makes me take a hiatus, for a few months or so, and then I'm back at it again. I feel like this is my first "adult" blog, or "adult-like" blog. I can't even begin to imagine what it will be full of, but I imagine it will be a little bit like the autumn... changing and evolving. We'll see!
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