I was the Bride, BUT It was my Mom's Day

Within my family, Fall is a big time... we celebrate 3/4 of our birthdays within my immediate family, and the normal holidays. 
Three days ago was my Mom's birthday, which I did not acknowledge for the first time in my life.  She and I haven't been on pleasant speaking terms since my wedding in June of this year.  I had conceeded to all of her demands for my wedding, in order to please her and impress her group of friends/family.  However, there was one instance where I did NOT coneed to what SHE wanted to do.  I wanted a seating arrangement, and she did not.  I wanted to make the seating un-awkward and un-chaotic for our 300 guests.  I wanted to assign them tables, and they could sit where they pleased.  My mother, however, hated this idea.  She felt it would offend her friends to tell them what table to sit at.  Therefore, I asked my Mom to make a list of tables for her side of the guests, which she said she did.  However, I found out on the day before my wedding that she had not made a seating chart.  Therefore, I stayed up till 2 AM the night before my wedding to make a seating arrangement.  THEN she sabatoged it again by not putting the seating arrangement cards out, so she could still have her way.  Needless to say, the guests finding seats was chaos.  My husbands family was offended, my husband was offended, and I was offended.  My Mom however, didn't care.  SHE had it the way SHE wanted it.  I cried the day before my wedding, she made decorating the hall with friends/family awkward when it shoudl have been fun (she was very angry and telling everyone how ungrateful I was), and she acted like the whole wedding was about showing off herself. 

The arguement isn't over the seating arrangement.  It is over the fact that she deliberately did what she wanted behind my back and against my wishes.  It was my wedding, and it should have been the way I wanted it.  I let her have her way on so many of my wedding plans, but that was the one thing where I put my foot down.  She made it very evident that she would much rather offend my husband's family, her future-son-in-law, and her daughter instead of her friends.  It was all about HER.  When it should have been all about my husband and I.  She refuses to think she did anything wrong, she argues with me about it still, and she refuses to apologize.  I am, for the first time in my life, refusing to let it go.  Forgiving is hard enough, but it is even harder when someone won't apologize for being wrong.

I have no desire to send her a card for her birthday, so I didn't.  I didn't call, and I didn't email.  I have no desire to visit, and I don't even look forward to the holidays.  I don't want to go if I have to be around her.

It's put a strain on everyone.  My husband loves hanging out with my Dad, and I miss my Dad too.  However, I won't go visit because I know I'll have to deal with her and her snottyness about the wedding issue.  All of her comments to me since the wedding have been jabbing and mean, and I just ignore it.  It isn't worth arguing with her about it, so I ignore her completely.

My Dad's birthday is next week.  I'll definitely send him a card, which will make it more apparent that I avoided my Mom's birthday completely.  My birthday is a few weeks after that, and I imagine she will ignore me that day.  Part of me is sad about it, but part of me wouldn't want her to ruin my birthday too by her rude behavior and comments.

This is all the things that aren't making Fall so fun, and I'm not looking forward to it.