Battered and Bruised

Pride - a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance,merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.

I think 'Pride' is usually deemed a negative term, as though someone is stuck up.  I don't feel that is the case.

My 'Pride' is hurt and demeaned by the subservient career I am currently trapped in.  It hurts my dignity to know that I am capable of SO much more, but I am not given the opportunity to move up even when I have proven myself capable.  I feel I have the intelligence and ability to make a difference, and it pains my ego to be so held down.  I am intelligence, capable, hardworking, efficient, detail oriented, determined, calculating, precise, and articulate!  I am MORE!  I've started to search for another job with an intense and angered drive. I am not good at masking my emotions, and I know that my irritation is evident at work.  I just am hoping that I am able to contain myself.  I'm very outspoken and don't like to swallow my pride, so the whole situation has been difficult.

For Example:  Today I sorted files (which should have been done long before I started at this job) from 2009 and 2010.  I sorted them and scanned them . . . for 7 hours.

The whole time I was doing that task I was fuming mad.  Ranting and raving in my mind....Cursing inside at my superiors and peers alike.  Screaming at them and myself that I'm so much BETTER than THIS!  Why...Why...Why do I have a college degree?  Why did my parents bother eating away at their retirement to put me through college?  To SORT AND SCAN PAPERS?  FUCK NO!

The irritation and anger mounts within me over the whole thing.  Here I am, in my late 20's, making piss poor wages, at a dead end job, with a college degree.  

My pride has been battered and bruised...and I hope I find a new job to restore that pride before I start taking punches at those who have beat it up in the first place.