Let the Darkness Fade

Let the Darkness Fade

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Living life without my medicine creates a situation where I am physically and mentally UNABLE to even have a chance at the pursuit of happiness.  It creates a situation where, without my medicine, it is possible to TAKE AWAY my OWN life.  Why in a nation where we pay a fortune for the right to have health insurance, am I denied to reasonably purchase medicine that my body needs to adequately function?  I HAVE to have a name brand medicine, and not the generic, due to the fact that I have side-effects to the generic. 
Is this my fault?  NO! 
Did I ask for this?  NO! 
I HAVE to have a higher dosage, which the medicine company does not make in one capsule yet, therefore, I have to take 3 pills to create the adequate dosage prescribed by my doctor. 
Is this my fault?  NO! 
Did I ask for my body to be created and set up to not function like a normal persons?  NO!Health insurance pays for SMOKERS, OBESE individuals, and people who take unhealthy acts into their own hands whenever they get an ill-effect from their own negligence!   Yet, a person who is BORN with a disease they cannot control is forced to suffer if they cannot afford the outrageous cost of their prescription.  How is this FAIR?  How is this RIGHT?

I cannot afford a prescription my body needs to function.  Therefore, what are my options?  Go off of my medicine and become so depressed that I fall out socially, lose my job and relationships, and eventually take my own life?  OR  Pay for the medicine and be unable to afford my housing, electric, food, and other basic needs?  How are those even considered realistic options?  Do you HAVE to be rich in this country to want to survive with clinical depression?  How does that not infringe upon my right to Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness?

How is $20 a day for mandatory medicine considered affordable when you already pay an astronomical price for insurance?  Is $600 per month for a mandatory medicine affordable?  You think that a normal person in these economic times can reasonably afford to pay insurance AND $7,200 for ONE PRESCRIPTION a YEAR!?!  If…IF… I lived until 85 years of age, at this rate; I would pay $417,600 in my lifetime to pay for ONE PRESCRIPTION?  I am a hardworking individual.  I work 40+ hours a week, however, I can’t afford my medicine at such a price.  Am I not allowed to afford food?  Water?  Electric?  Clothing?  Transporation?

I would rather DIE than attempt to live without my medicine.  My life is so bleak, so terrible, so sad, so angry, so hopeless that I would RATHER DIE now than attempt to live off of my medicine again.  Rather than tell me the price of my medicine is so high, you might as well put a bullet through my head, and end my suffering before it starts.

You would not tell a diabetic to live without their medicine.  You would not tell them to go on a lower dose when their body needed more insulin.  Nor would you force them to use a generic brand of medicine if it had been tried in the past with negative side-effects.  Therefore, why do you expect a person with a mental illness to do such a thing?  My body is lacking serotonin just as a diabetic is lacking insulin.  How DARE you make it unaffordable to LIVE!  How dare you take away MY CHANCE at LIFE, liberty, and THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS?

I would love it if I could be like you.  I would LOVE if my body did not have these issues.  I would LOVE if I could wake up every day and not need to take a medicine to function normally, but that is not the way God created me.  I did not do these things to myself.  I did not intentionally create myself in a way that would cause me so much grief throughout my lifetime.  Do not treat me in a way that indicates as though I did this to myself.  Do not treat me as though I put myself in this position because I did not.

All I want to do is be normal.  I want to be able to wake up with the same chance at happiness as everyone else.  However, I can’t do that with untreated clinical depression.   Don’t take away my chance at happiness by making my medicine unaffordable.  It isn’t something I can live without.

I can’t wait for the day I am welcomed into heaven and no longer have to feel the mental pain and anguish, which plagues me here.  I can’t wait to feel such unaltered joy and happiness.  I can’t wait to walk into the light and let the darkness fade behind me forever.