Living in Limbo

I can happily say that we accepted an offer on my husband's house.  We sign it over to the new owner this week, and move out next weekend.  After that, we are moving all of our stuff into a storage unit and moving in with his parents while we look for the right house.

I feel at a crossroads in my life at the moment.  Perhaps because so many things are happening at once, so my mind is boggled about where or how to focus itself.

Monday:  Second Phone Interview for a new job and work

Tuesday:  More Packing and work

Wednesday:  Inspection on the heating/cooling system in my husband's house and work

Thursday:  Signing over the house to the new owner(s) and work

Friday:  More Packing and work

Saturday:  Moving stuff into storage

Sunday:  Living at the In-Laws-House until ??/??/2012?

My mom was here yesterday to help us completely dismantle some of the house.  I never realized how much stuff was truly in there.  We packed for nearly 10 hours yesterday.  I thought that I had surely packed plenty away during the past few months, but apparently I underestimated just how much stuff was left.  Before she left, we loaded up her car with extra food, the hanging basket planters, my pet hedgehog, and fragile things that we were afraid would get broken in the moving process.  My feet were so sore by the end of the night that I had to take pain medicine to be able to sleep.

The kitchen is desolate.  A few random condiments are in the refrigerator, butter, milk, beer, eggs, cheese slices, and random bits of food.  One cabinet has boxes of half eaten cereal, granola bars, pop tarts, pancake mix, syrup, and a few other dry goods.  Our dinnerware consists of one pot, one pan, one spatula, 2 forks, 2 knives, 2 spoons, 2 plates, 2 bowls, and 2 cups.  Everything else we own is packed up.

The house looks void of personality.  All the vases, flowers, shelves, photos, artwork, books, decorative pillows, curtains and decor are packed and hidden.  I feel like I'm inside an empty shell.  It feels so odd and foreign.  Upstairs is filled with boxes and boxes of electronics, decor, clothes, shoes, holiday items, linens, dishes, and so much stuff that it fills my mind too.

I suppose living in this state of limbo feels like someone took the puzzle pieces of my life and temporarily disassembled it.  The problem is not with it being unraveled.  The problem is that I'm not sure when we're going to be able to put it back together.  We aren't sure how long we'll be living with his parents, saving money, and looking for the RIGHT house.

I obviously don't want to live there any longer than necessary, and neither does he.  However, the next house is a BIG deal to us.  It will finally be OUR house.  More importantly is the fact that this house will be the house that our future children are born in and spend the beginning years of their childhood in...which means that we have to take into account how many bedrooms it has, how much of a yard it has for them to play in, what kind of neighborhood it is in, the school district, etc.  We want to make a good, educated choice and not rush into it.

Our First Dance - June 2011

Our one year anniversary is eight days away, on June 18th.  It's a dream come true that we will no longer be in the home that he shared with his first wife, but it is a bit daunting that I'll be living with my in-laws.  I get along with them fine, but it is never ideal to have to be sharing spaces when you aren't used to it.

I think the part that will bother me the most is that his parents aren't allowing us to bring our dog with us.  Thankfully, my parents have stepped in to allow Lula to live with them during the time being, even though their dog, Oscar hates Lula.  I'm sure it will work out fine, but I know I'll miss my dog.  She's like our baby, and I'm not sure how long our separation will be.  We'll be able to go and stay there on weekends, but it still isn't ideal.

My Grandpa and I, in 2004, five years prior to his passing

On top of all of this, today is the day that my favorite person, my Grandpa passed away 3 years ago.  His wife, my Grandma, has been quite ill lately.  My parents have been trying to keep her happy and healthy as long as possible, but at 90 years old it can be challenging.  She has been having a rough time the past week, and they aren't quite sure if she'll get better or worse.  It is just another thing on my mind....racing through with all of my other jumbled thoughts.